The Tribe Of Complainers

Everyone can complain, it is not a talent.Complaining doesn't make you special but it does sign you up quickly to the tribe of complainers.

Almost everywhere I go I hear the same thing, everyone is complaining about something or someone. This disease has ravaged almost all of society, not to suggest people should not use their right of free speech but my aim is to highlight to you that complaining does not make things or people better.

Has anything changed ever since you started complaining?
A society of complainers is highly unlikely to make permanent changes because they all feel as if "life" is unfair to them so they never go against the grain, they just opt for complaining. When we face challenges or are hurt or misunderstood we should not complain but accept reality thus remind ourselves that the power of life and death is in the tounge. Take the throngs of people complaining about their boss or the poverty in their community, they do not realize that the only way to transform the situation is to be fulfilled internally. In other words I am saying that if we are looking for external changes(circumstances, money, situations, people, weather, approval, acceptance, love,miracles, peace, joy) to be satisfied and happy with our lives , we will live a life of perpetual complaining and victim hood.The real miracle is internal, one of the sub laws of the Law of Attraction is the law of reflection which states that everything happens inside before it happens outside.

My theory is that if we continue living like this we will not reach even half of our potential (Which is Unlimited by the way...).
When we complain, we focus on things or people that are not reacting the way we would like.

1.If your child is not behaving in a way you find appropriate, you complain .
(You want to Control the external)

You can take a horse to the river but you cannot force it to drink, your child is an individual with their own mind and a free will. You can teach them all the best principles, morals and manners but they will always do what they want to do.

2.If your government is not delivering on its promises, you complain.
(You want to control the external)

The government is a group people (You are also a part of the government), this means that there is no way you can make them act they way you want them to, they are not robots or AI. The problem is not wanting to hold people accountable to their words, promises or mandate BUT EXPECTING that they obey your law, in another way live their lives by your rules. You should demonstrate what you want to instill and leave people alone, remember you were born alone and you will die alone.

3.When the weather is not the one you prefer, you complain.

(I) The weather is out of our control
(II) We complain when it is too cold, we complain when it is too cold. We are never satisfied hence we live lives of perpetual complaining.

4.When people grow and decide they no longer want to interact with you, you complain.

5.When people do not keep promises, we complain.

The point I am driving to is that when things do not go the way we desire them to be, we always complain. Not realizing that anything external is out of our control, meaning that we cannot force people or things to be the way we want them to be. ALL YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER IS YOU ;this is not to suggest you have completely no influence over circumstances or people. Though we have influence over people and circumstances, we cannot force people to do things they do not want to do and we cannot force the sun to shine(Control the external)

I realize the paradox in my statements(My writing is titled the tribe of complainers, but you might think it is contradictory because it seems I am complaining about perpetual complainers) but even though I know that I cannot force you(Control the external) to understand my message I can share it with you regardless with hope, without trying to coerce you into buying into this theory that says complaining does NOT WORK. This is NOT to say that we will be able to liberate ourselves instantly from this disease of complaing but we can slowly begin a process of internal change. We have been "programmed" this way, people right now are complaining everywhere and because of social norms & mob pyschology we assume that once everyone is doing something it is okay or rather appropriate.

Moreover complaining is like playing the blame game & disregarding that the only real change is internal. Until we all change as indivuals and slow down on complaining, we will die complaing and so will the following generations. Until we realize that we are in control of our lives and destiny we will be able to spend our time better than to spend it complaining.
AGAIN I repeat not to say never complain but do not make complaing the centre of your life. You were not born to complain but to create, complaing stifles that creativity and makes you believe nothing will work for you so you do not even try. You rather choose to join the "COMPLAINING DEPARTMENT. They usually say" crime does not pay "today I want to tell you that COMPLAINING DOES NOT PAY.

1.You complain about your child she complains about you.

2.You complain about your boss, your boss complains about you.

3.You complain about your old car, and you forget to be grateful for the fact that you even have a car.
-The old car gets stolen and you still complain.
-You complain in the train.
-You complain when you do not afford transport and have to walk.
-You complain when people do not give you a lift .
ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN, WHATEVER THE CIRMUSTANCE, KANI Ufuna INI??

4. You complain about....

Not to suggest complaing does not have benefits (e.g Speaking your mind, getting your feelings out), the truth of the matter is we end up complaing about everything and are never satisfied because we keep trying to control the external. I do believe we all have dominion but I also understand that looking for something (e. g respect, love, honor) externally is not a good idea. William Glasser in his writing called the Fully Function Person said that "Fully functioning people do not complain and do not explain"

The real question is ;Do you want to be a fully function person or you want to be the average complainer? Apparently we have about 50,000 thoughts per day & my logic says  that before you verbalize your complaint you think about it. How many of your thoughts are complaints? And do you think this is healthy or positive?

Hanging out with people who frequently complain can be just as dangerous as complaining yourself. This is because your brain reorganizes  itself in much the same way. Our brains are made such that we can imagine what others are experiencing, so when we see someone experiencing anger or sadness, our brains try it out to enhance our understanding of what they are experiencing.

Research from Stanford University revealed that complaining or expressing discontent reduces the size of our hippocampus. Hippocampus is a complex brain structure embedded deep into temporal lobe. It has a major role in learning and memory. It is a plastic and vulnerable structure that gets damaged by a variety of stimuli. Studies have shown that it also gets affected in a variety of neurological and psychiatric disorders. The study also revealed engaging in complaining or simply hearing someone complain for more than 30 minutes could physically damage our brains.

I could go on the whole day about this but I rest my case!!