Expect It From Yourself

Whatever you want in life, expect it from yourself. One of the biggest traps in life is the trap of expecting things from others.. We shift our responsibility to others and we blame other people and external factors when honestly most of the time we hold ourselves back.

1.Independent people get things done, they hold themselves to a higher standard... Nobody can make you a boss, you gotta do it yourself. Many are times we ignore the vast amount of power and potential locked up in each one of us.... Some people expect things from their partner, which is why they end up with anyone who has money because they need financial support..They expect money from someone else not themselves...

2.We all want people to forgive us for things we did in the past.. when we haven't forgiven ourselves. Many of us live with guilt from past mistakes, we carry it everywhere we go.. Today I want to remind you that things happen and you need to accept and adapt for we cannot rewind time but we will make better choices in the future.... We can all forgive you but if you fail to forgive yourself it is all pointless... Expect forgiveness from yourself 

3.Make sure you motivate yourself and not expect it from external sources because you will rely on it to get things done. It is good for us to motivate each other but if you cannot motivate yourself  you will struggle at times when nobody is cheering you on and giving you kind words of motivation. The greatest leaders are the ones who are able to keep themselves fired up especially during the most challenging  situations. 

4.Take Responsibility for wins and losses.Most of us are happy when we win and angry when we lose, we do not realise that losing qualifies us to win next time. We put too much value on winning, when the real lesson and value is in the loss. The loss is the win in disguise, Thomas Edison failed many times but today we only speak of the one attempt that was a success.. He "lit up the world" through trial and error. Fear not failure but fear pre-mature success... Failing means you successfully found a way that doesn't work, this then enables you to try another way. Remember never change the goal but change the strategy.. 

5. Do not import happiness.. Most of our emotions are usually attached to external factors. So if somebody says you are beautiful, you will be happy and if they say you are ugly you will be mad. This then means anyone can change your mood by their words and actions at any time. (This one is easier said than done, but this doesn't make it impossible) 

One Pastor was telling a story about a couple that came to marriage counseling and at a certain point he gave them an exercise. He told them to write on a piece of paper what they wanted from their partner in their marriage. Apparantely the gentleman wrote almost two full pages and the lady wrote just 5 things on her list. 

Then the pastor told each one of them to not give the list to their partner, but to keep it for themselves and do the things they expect from their partner from themselves. 

The moral of the story is that if I want a wife who will clean the house , I must  clean it myself(Most males just want a "maid" as if they have no hands). If I want a wife who is a prayer warrior myself, I must be a prayer warrior myself.If I want a wife who does not drink alcohol, I myself must not drink alcohol (since I am the one with an issue with alcohol, she can drink all she wants) 

Note: I am not suggesting that we cut off people and do it all on our own but that we must demonstrate what we want to instill

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Imagine You Are A Success

Psychology says that we are controlled by what we think, believe or imagine more than any other factor. Our beliefs control everything we do, If we believed (or rather imagined) that wearing clothes was useless, we would all be walking around naked. It is very imperative that we understand that we control our lives through the type of thoughts we choose to hold in our minds. Take the person who jumps in front of a speeding car on the highway(commits suicide), in their mind their action is justified and probably seen as necessary hence it is carried out. Now that i have laid my foundation... In his book Psychocybernetics, Maxwell Maltz says "Realizing that our actions, feelings and behavior are the e result of our own images and beliefs gives us the lever that psychology has always needed for changing personality.Mental pictures offer us an opportunity to "practice" new traits and attitudes, which otherwise we could not do.  This is possible because again—your nervous sy...
Read more

The Unwritten Rules of Africa: Navigating a Complex Identity (Economics part 1)

The economic life of the African continent is shaped by a complex mix of historical events and current realities. To truly understand it, we must examine the deep-rooted challenges and psychological patterns that emerged from centuries of outside control and resource extraction. A History of Economic Struggle The rule of economic struggle is deeply rooted in a colonial history of dependency. Foreign powers didn't just come to trade; they methodically took apart existing African economies. They dismissed local practices as "outdated" and forced new systems upon the people. This historical redirection of resources created a fundamental weakness, turning the continent into a mere supplier of raw materials. All the infrastructure they built, like railways and ports, was primarily designed to transport these resources from inland to the coast for export. This framework created an economic gap and a dependency that has continued long after African nations gained their independe...
Read more

A Transformed Mind

Many of us are rigid in thought hence we are stagnant in life. The good news is that we have the ability to change our minds - our thought patterns (perceptions, beliefs..) One of my prayers these days is "God transform my mind". That is because i am well aware that if my mind is transformed, my life will be transformed. Our thoughts are often revealed in our actions. I am writing this right now because an idea came into my mind and i thought it was a great idea to express my revelation about my life in this manner. The action is preceded by thought. The word transformation is a compound word - transition & form or "formation". A transition takes time so it is imperative that we are patient and recognize that it will take time for our minds to be transformed. Transformation is a process often filled with pain and fear. That does not mean we must not persue change but bear in mind that it will be challenging.  Behaviors and/or habits lead to results but we often ...
Read more